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BADASS
HORROR Sample
Hardboiled Stiff by Michael Hemmingson
“Ms. Melfile,” I said, pulling at my tie, “I thank you for the ride and your assistance; I’m going to have to apologize in advance for what I’m about to do.”
“Oh,” she said, touching her chest, “are you going to turn me into a zombie?”
“A what?”
“A zombie. That’s what you are.”
“I don’t know what I am,” I said, “but only vampires and werewolves can turn people into —”
“I think zombies can too,” she said.
“Well, that’s not what I had in …”
“What were you … ?”
I was looking at her knockers and feeling a whole lot of lust.
She said: “Oh.”
“I know I’m an miserly sight — I stink of death and violence and who-knows-what, so I’m telling you now that I’m sorry for what I’m about to do.”
“Please,” she told me, “just get it over with.” She softly smiled. “Just do what you have to do,” she said.
I lunged like a Bengal tiger on its prey and she did not fight me. She kissed me back. She pulled at my clothes. She let me take off her blouse and bra and play with those wonderful tits in my big decaying hands.
“I want your ass,” I said.
“Oh, Mr. Gideon, you can have every part of my body!”